So…this month, we at OnZ
Wireless want to announce our new series of armor phone cases.
Unfortunately, they are actually so awesome that we are running out of words to
describe the legendarily colossal awesomeness of gargantuan proportions, so
we’re going to use all of this blog to give you a sense of the performance
level that these armor cases provide through some apt comparisons.
Feeling Royal?
This beastly thing is an armor for rider and horse ordered
by Sigismund II Augustus in the 16th century. Sigismund (catchy
name) was the King of Poland and Grand Duke of Lithuania, so if you’ve ever
felt like you want to be the king of a small European country, or the grand
duke of an even smaller European country, this is the kind of getup you’d be
looking at, in terms of a quick grocery store run. Or you can just skip the
pesky responsibilities of a dictator (what do you mean no taxation without
representation?) and go with an armor case for your phone instead, because it
is at least as royally impressive as this little thing.
Do You Believe You Can Fly?
Have you ever thought to yourself that you would like to
have a badass blood-red armor that allows you to fly, drop bombs and arrest
intergalactic criminals? Let’s face it, who hasn’t. That is literally all we
think about while staring mindlessly at our monitors. Now, while our armor
phone cases don’t give you the ability to fly, bomb things or be the space
police (please don’t try them at home and then sue us), it does come in an
awesome shade of red that definitely matches the Ironman armor both in color
and durability. And surely that’s what is truly important about being a
superhero playboy millionaire with a heart of pure energy: Your phone case
matching your outfit.
You Wanna Tank It?
This little Sunday drive vehicle is the Black Panther tank,
designed by the South Korean army and known as one of the most advanced high
tech tanks in the world. Not only do our armor cases come in way more colors
than this tank, they are also pretty much as strong and high-tech as it is. Sources tell
us that it’s totally possible that the South Korean army driving this tank is
protecting their cellphones (no texting while driving!) with our armor cases.
There you go. That’s approximately how awesome our new armor
cases are, but if you need more info, feel free to contact us or to test them
out yourself.
Android accessories? iPhone accessories? Or want both? From battery chargers to power banks, we can cover you. We have something for everyone here, so come quickly! Mobile phone accessory shops wa
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